On Monday the 14th of December I got a call from my mom telling me that I needed to go see my Grandpa in the hospital because he wasn't doing so well. For those of you who don't know him he has been struggling health wise for 6 years or so. She told me that he was going to be taken off the machines that were keeping him alive later that day. So of course I got Andrew's stuff together and James and I met my mom, dad, brother, kim, and some other family members at the hospital. Seeing him lay there in that bed was the hardest thing that I could do knowing that he didn't have much time left with us.
My Grandpa and I were very close. He meant so much to me. You could say that we were like two peas in a pod lol. Both stubborn and onry as ever! Always causing mayhem tehe! Ever since I was a little girl I would love going over there to their house to visit and hang out with him in his big wood shop he had. I even helped him make 3 hope chests, one for me and one for both of my cousins. I would always find stuff to make. And there was a little tractor that he had build out of wood that I would always play with. We had a lot of great memories in that shop. He always said I was his favorite, and I always said that I better his favorite no matter what lol. :P
So being there watching him lay there in that bed killed me. My brother Anthony and I cried most of the time being there. Well, pretty much everyone did. He would come in and out and mumble things here and there but for the most part he would just lay there. One time when his eyes were open I was sitting next to him and said that I loved him and he said he loved me back. That was so great to hear, I started to cry and just wanted to give him a big hug and hope that magically he woud snap out of it and get better like he always did before. The nurses moved him into a chair that was next to the bed so he could sit up for awhile. While he was there I sat next to him and held his hand. All of a sudden I see him trying to pick up the pillow next to him and he got it and threw it at my face. I just laughed and said, "hey now!" At first my mom thought that Anthony threw it at me and I told her that it was Grandpa. After he threw the pillow he looked at me and smiled and did a small chuckle. That was so like him. It made me a litte happy that I would have a good memory of us that day. After the day passed we said our goodbyes and I took Grandma back home for the night. Anthony, Kim, Andrew and I were all staying with Grandma for the week.
The next morning we all woke up and had breakfast and headed out to the hospital. Again he would come and go but just lay there. Eventually they started him on a morphine iv to help calm him down. After that he no longer showed any sign that he was with is. He didn't really move and just laid there. Everytime Grandma would say I love you to him made me cry cause he wouldn't do anything and she would cry. We spent the whole day there with him and just watched him as he laid there. We all took turns sitting by his side holding his hand. By around 7:30 or so Grandma was getting tired so she said goodbye and I love you, which made the whole room tear up and we all said goodbye and we went home. My Uncle John was coming to visit from Washington that night, he got there around 8 something. He stayed till about 10 with him and then headed to his hotel.
Around 1am the next morning I got a call from my mom. She had said that she got a call from the hospital notifying her that Grandpa has passed away at 12:05am. (12.16.09) I could bearly hear her talking because I was crying to much. She said that he passed in his sleep and that it was very peaceful which I was glad to hear. After the call my brother went straight to the wood shop and I didn't see him back in the house till mom and Shane got to Grandma's around 5am. My mom came in and went to my Grandma's room to wake her up. After about 5 minutes we started to hear crying coming from her room. I go in there and sit with her and let her cry on my shoulder. After a little she laid back down in bed and just cried and then slept for a couple hours. The whole morning was just calls in and out informing family and close friends about the news.
After Grandma had woken up we all got ready to go and went to the hospital to meet family to go see Grandpa one last time for a family viewing. Seeing the look on Grandma's face as we took her in the room was so hard. She held his hand, said I love you, goodbye, cried and asked to be taken out of the room. I started crying soo much after that. I went and sat by his side and held his hand and just cried next to him the whole time we were there. I just couldn't leave. I didn't want to leave knowing I would never see him again after that. I didn't want to accept that he was gone. I just wanted him to sit up and give me a hug and tell me everything was ok. After awhile I got up and sat on my dad's lap in the corner of the room and just cried on his shoulder. A few minutes went by and I got up, went over to him again one last time, said I love you and goodbye and I went to the hallway. That was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. I haven't felt that much sadness my whole life and I just didn't want it to be true.
We all met up to get some food afterwards because Grandma needed to eat. After that we got back to her house and it was so hard to go in. All I could see were reminders of him and memories kept flashing through my head. Every once in awhile I would see him sitting in his chair or sitting at the table or I would hear his voice and I would just cry cause I knew that it wasn't him. I got one of his flannel jackets and put it on, then passed out in his chair.
We had his memorial on Dec. 23rd, and also had a very small family and very close friends only grave side. Getting to the grave site and seeing that casket there knowing that he was in it crushed me. We all gathered around and had a nice service. We laid roses on top of the casket and said our final goodbyes. We then headed over to the town church and had a memorial for everyone to attend. There were so many friends that came out and a lot of family that flew in. Listening to everyone share their stories of how they knew my Grandpa was a great expierience, I got to learn more about my Grandpa that I didn't know. He was a wonderful man and I am so blessed to have known him. He was a perfect Grandpa and I will never forget him. I am so glad that he was here to be at my wedding and see my son Andrew. The smile that came on his face when he held Andrew was something else. He will always be here with me and I know that he will be watching over all of us making sure that we are safe and will enjoy seeing us grow up.
RIP My amazing Grandpa. I LOVE you so much.
(3.21.35-12.16.09)
